Well, D-Day has finally arrived. I’ve had my last meal (and more devastatingly, my last glass of water!) and am counting down the hours until I head to the hospital. Laparoscopy and hysteroscopy are on the menu today, so basically a good old look around in there to see what’s going on. At this stage I’m feeling ok about going in, a little nervous, although I can’t really decide if that’s a true nervousness or more a nervous excitement. I think probably the latter. Aunt Flo ever so kindly decided to show up yesterday (thanks) so perhaps it’s more a fear of them deciding they can’t do the hysteroscopy and postponing the op. There’s mixed feedback online about whether they can do it at this stage of the cycle – the internet is not my friend today it would seem.
It’s amazing what’s out there on the web. And to think 15-20 years ago it was still in its infancy. I’ve definitely learned a lot from my research there, the trouble is you’ve got to learn to sift through the crap and take a large part of it with a grain of salt. It must prove a nightmare for doctors sometimes what with self diagnosis and over-anxious patients. For me one of the most helpful things has been the reading of stories from others in similar (or worse) boats to me. It can make you realise you’re not alone in this, that people go through it every day, and a large part of them come out the other side with a happy ending, not to mention stronger people for it. Admittedly there was a time, quite early on in the piece, where I couldn’t read their stories. I would cry even reading the first sentence. Thankfully I don’t cry quite so easily any more (though trust me, it still happens, and usually when I least expect it) and have been able to resume my perusal of other people’s lives.
It’s interesting what you find while searching for other things. Unexpected gems in a sea of sludge. Quite often they are complete surprises and contrary to the thing you were looking for. Take for example my find of the other day. I was testing Google to see if this blog would appear when typed into the search bar (turns out it was too early and ‘Waiting For Bumble’ hadn’t been indexed yet). What did turn up was another woman’s page aptly titled ‘Bringing up Bumble’. Like me and so many others this courageous lady had been through fertility issues, culminating in a series of IVF treatment which eventually led to the birth of her very own little Bumble. At first I was mildly disgruntled, someone out there had already taken “Bumble”, our ‘name’, until my husband gently reminded me that nothing is original in this world, especially on the internet. My next reaction was one of happiness, someone already had a “Bumble”! It gave me hope that perhaps my Bumble would show their wee head one day.
It seems a nice symmetry don’t you think, my ‘Waiting For Bumble’ detailing the journey through infertility, and Meghann’s ‘Bringing up Bumble’, a success story. In saying that though she is retreading the path for number two, so perhaps the symmetry is contained all in the one blog. Either way it’s worth checking out. Some nice writing and beautiful pictures of a happy, healthy wee boy. Thanks Meghann for giving me hope.
Anywhichway, this has killed off another hour of my day. One down, six to go. So wish me luck and I’ll see you on the other side, hopefully with some kind of answers.