But who’s counting….

It’s now been a year since I started this blog.  Its first birthday slipped by without my notice, a sign I guess at how lax I have become with my blog posts.  I’d aimed for one a week but at 14 posts off that pace it seems I didn’t quite make it.  Still, it’s been enough to keep me going and, to be honest, 38 posts isn’t half bad.  So what’s happened in a year?  So much and yet at the same time so little.

When this blog was started we’d been trying for Bumble for 597 days.  We were frustrated but hopeful.  We’d sought specialist help and had a plan…a laparoscopy to remove my suspected endometriosis then clomiphene to hopefully end our unexplained infertility.  Needless to say our four cycles of Clomiphene didn’t work, although I’m sure the removal of my endo has certainly taken out one of our obstacles.  The jump from Clomiphene to IVF, bypassing IUI and other treatments was definitely a shock, but once again we were convinced that this would be it, the miracle cure to our plight.  Alas, once again, no result and the options were starting to feel like they were running out.  There was no explanation for why IVF #1 didn’t work, and if we had a similar result from the next IVF cycle then that would most likely be the end of the road, no insight into the problem causing our infertility means no direction for treatment.  So where are we now?

We’re 965 days in and doing IVF round two.

As mentioned in a previous post this starts off with three weeks counterintuitively on the contraceptive pill, before ending that and beginning the stimulation injections.  Throughout most of this time an ovulation inhibiting injection is also taken.  Not knowing what to expect from this longer cycle I went in with much the same mindset as I had with the first IVF cycle, except this time my expectations weren’t so high; I am somewhat prepared for this not to be the miracle cure.  Overall the pill was fine, and the stimulation injections are much the same as last time.  I’m on a slightly higher dose but it doesn’t seem to be causing me any issues.  The thing that IS causing me grief is the nasty injection to stop me ovulating.

Each morning I inject what I like to call ‘Lucky Dip Lucrin’.  This is also known at Lupron for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere.  I name it ‘Lucky Dip Lucrin’ because you never know what you’re going to get on any given day.  I do my injection at about 7:30am each day and I can time it pretty much to the minute that exactly two hours later I want to cry.  After that it’s a wait-and-see process as to what horrible side effects I’m going to get for the day.  Most days I have a headache – the lucky dip side of this whether I have it from 2 hours after my Lucrin shot or whether it develops later in the day.  Some days, although thankfully not many, I feel nauseous.  Not nauseous enough to actually throw up but nauseous enough that I sit at my desk pondering whether I could make it to the toilet in time if I had to.  Lately I’ve also been suffering from vertigo from it which makes working extremely difficult.  And let’s not even start on my dodgy gut!  I’ve also been insanely tired but this is one side effect I don’t mind so much.  I hate being tired and it’s a struggle to get through the day sometimes but I figure functioning in the equivalent of a sleep deprived state is good practice for if I ever do become a parent, so this is one side effect that makes me feel better about this whole process.

Coming towards the end of the stimulation part of the cycle I’m finding it harder and harder to function as a human being.  I guess this has to do with the drugs building up in my system or something but the last few days have been really tough.  An email that should take me 5 minutes to write is taking a couple of hours (due to an inability to concentrate on one thing for a sustained period of time), and my vertigo is so bad I often have to sit with my head in my hands, eyes closed (trying not to move) at frequent intervals throughout the day.  I know others who have gone home ‘sick’ when feeling the same but I refuse to let this defeat me.  This IVF cycle is a path I have chosen to take and my work should not suffer more than it already does because of it.  At least the end is now in sight.

Scans and blood tests are looking good.  My follicles have been a little slower in developing than last time but Dr Google tells me that this is not uncommon with a long protocol cycle.   All going well my egg collection should be at the end of this week.  Fingers crossed we get the miracle we’ve been hoping for all this time.


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