I started this post back in February and now, almost exactly two months to the day, I’m making good on my promise to myself and knuckling down to complete the job. After multiple posts on donor egg IVF it’s time for one on adoption to even the score. It feels good to finally be able to write something else on this front as it’s still very much an option for us even though our world seems a bit dominated with DEIVF at the moment.
So what is there to report? Well, after a few messages back and forward I finally managed to catch up with a former work colleague who had not so long ago been through the adoption process herself. Such a fantastic opportunity to chat through the process with someone who has firsthand experience, someone who, to make things even better, is such a lovely, bubbly, and all-round friendly person….and of course her wee 11-month old bub was just adorable!
She shared her story with me, walked me through the process step-by-step and gave me bits of advice along the way. This is the order things happen in, make sure you go into the workshops with your head in the right space, this is what a profile looks like. It was so helpful and now I feel a bit more prepared to tackle the long process that is adoption in NZ. With only 5 domestic adoptions in the year to July (2013) the chances seem slim, but if she can be one of the lucky ones then why can’t we.
We’ve attended the initial 2-hour information session, as mentioned in a previous post, have submitted our applications (with police & medical checks), our referees have completed their feedback on us, and we have just received notification of, and enrolled in, the next two-day workshop. In three and a half weeks time we’ll be attending day one (with day two the following weekend) and our adoption journey will continue. I’ve already started thinking about creating our profile, working out what to include about ourselves, thinking of the photos we have that could go in it, though I know I’m jumping way ahead of myself.
It’s funny because although I know we’d be good parents, there’s still this little nagging fear that they won’t want us, that they won’t put us through to the next step. I know it’s silly as I can’t think of anything in our natures or in our backgrounds that would exclude us from the adoption pool – we’re not abusive, we have loving families & friends, we’re well-educated, we have a wide variety of hobbies, our own home, financial stability, and a lot of love to give. If anything, with the large variety of ways (including adoption) that our current family has been put together, we have added positives that make us well-rounded candidates for adoptive parents. I guess because DEIVF and adoption are our last bastions of hope when it comes to having a family there’s a lot riding on both of them, which of course makes me worry…..and we all know how much of a contraceptive “worry” is for conception (ha! Perhaps more on that in a future post).
Although I have some idea of what to expect from the two-day workshop I’m still a little nervous about it. A tiny part of this is my irrational fear of the audition process (that this isn’t) and not making it through, but I think a larger part is just me being shy. I know when the day rolls around I’ll be completely fine about it and will participate and chat away with ease – after all, these people, while perhaps not in the same boat as us, are definitely floating in the same ocean. It’s also exciting to be making progress in the adoption arena, to be taking active steps along multiple paths to becoming parents. Bring it on, I’m more than ready for it.
So that’s the small update we have on the adoption front – two months in the making – this time next month we’ll hopefully have more to report and will, fingers crossed, be even closer to realising our dream of expanding our family.