Our wonderful donor is not only donating us her eggs, she’s also taken the time out of her busy life to write a post for this blog about her thoughts and experience thus far. It means so much to be able to share this. Thanks D, hopefully it’s the first of many!
How do you decide to be an egg donor? You just do. You just know that helping someone to have the child that they have been wanting for so long is more important than any of the potential problems or discomfort or the emotional aspects that come with the process. After reading that Waiting for Bumble were keen to use a donor that they knew, it took a 2 minute conversation with my husband before I knew that I wanted to offer to be their donor. So how do you make an offer like that? Well, I don’t know what the “best” way to do it would have been, but being a fan of the written word, I decided to send a text. That was the 18th of January 2014. It’s now 9 months later and we’re deep into the donor egg IVF process. It takes a couple of blood tests, a couple of counselling sessions and a 3 month stand down period (and some additional delays if you’re waiting for the public system) to get to the nitty gritty. Tonight will be my 4th night of injecting myself with Gonal F to grow my eggs, then I’ll start taking Cetrotide tomorrow morning to stop me from ovulating and continue with both of these injections daily with regular scans, until they decide its “go” time and a trigger injection is given 36 hours before collection.
So what has been going on in my head for the last 9 months? There are a myriad of thoughts and feelings which, as time goes on and we get closer to the possibility of a baby being born through this process, become more real.
My biggest concern was/is probably the drugs/procedure itself. How affected was I going to be by them? So far, so good with no adverse reactions or personality fractures. Possibly feeling a bit tired, or is it just my hectic life? Is my tummy more bloated than usual or did I just have a big dinner? The main procedure is yet to come, but I’m told the drugs are good. But will it work? Will I have any eggs good enough to transplant?
The emotional aspects – it’s hard to know how anyone is going to feel afterward. We’re all hoping it will work, but what if it doesn’t? And what if it does? It’s all unknown at the moment. Will it be weird? How am I supposed to act? Will I feel any attachment to the child? How will it affect our friendship? What if there is a problem with the baby?
I’ve certainly got more questions than answers at the moment, but I’m not worried. I’m donating my DNA, a piece of me that I am not using, to give my friends the opportunity to create their baby. I’m not worried because that, the opportunity for them to be parents, is more important to me than whether I feel a small amount of pain or weird or uncertain.