Day 6 – part one (written 4th February 2015)

Transfer day! Eeeeee! I’ve slept surprisingly well (maybe it’s those herbs the acupuncturist gave me the other day) and wake up at a normal hour not buzzing with stress. Amazing. The lab have told us they’ll have the PGS report to us before 9:30am and it’s somewhat of a relief knowing I’ve just over an hour to wait tops.

In reality it’s only 45 minutes as the report shows up just before nine o’clock. We’re both excited but on edge as we open the email to view the findings from our embryo testing, and learn the fate of our remaining embryos. I’ve been warned to expect a 25% drop-off from PGS as usually around quarter of embryos are found to be abnormal, and that’s just what we have. Our PGS results are below:

  • 1 x Hatching Blastocyst: Fair/Fair (no result, this embryo will be re-biopsied and frozen today)
  • 4 x Hatched Blastocyst: Good/Good (normal, 2 of which are recommended for transfer today, the remainder will be frozen)
  • 1 x Hatching Blastocyst: Good/Good (normal, recommended for freezing today)
  • 1 x Hatched Blastocyst: Good/Fair (normal, recommended for freezing today)
  • 1 x Hatched Blastocyst: Fair/Fair (normal, recommended for freezing today)

Then, on top of those tested above, we have the remaining embryos which have not been pre-implantation genetically screened but could be today if we chose:

  • 1 Hatched Blastocyst Good/Good (eligible for biopsy and/or freezing today)
  • 1 Hatching Blastocyst Good/Good (eligible for biopsy and/or freezing today)
  • 2 Hatching Blastocysts Fair/Fair (eligible for biopsy and/or freezing today)

And these ones, which aren’t up to scratch, don’t meet freezing criteria, and will be discarded today:

  • 4 Early Blastocysts: Poor
  • 2 Compacting
  • 4 Multi-cells

Now the extra decision-making comes. We can have the other four eligible embryos tested for chromosomal normality if we want to but the lab needs to know by 11am – just two hours after we receive the results email. It’s a hard decision. Testing costs a fair bit of money (US$250 per embryo) but will we regret not testing them?

After we transfer two today, we’ll have three remaining good/good embryos that have tested normal and 2 (possibly 3) lesser quality ones, is that enough? It’s at this moment I desperately want a crystal ball. If this cycle works then yes, it’s plenty, but if it doesn’t and we have to come back for another shot then maybe it would be better to have more that have passed testing up our sleeve. Even if this does work we’d like to have a decent shot at a sibling sometime in the future.

It’s a hard call to make. The perfectionist in me wants to test all four as that would be ‘neater’, and we’d know the normality of all the frozen embryos. However, the realist in me knows this is excessive. Hubby’s gut feeling was initially not to test any more, but 30 minutes later he’s not so sure. With both of us coming from extremes we decide to comprise and get the remaining two good/good quality embies tested, leaving the two fair/fair to be frozen unexamined. I promptly email the lab before we can agonise over it any further.

And now we wait. Four and a half hours to embryo-transfer. I’m super excited. It’s our wedding anniversary back home (because of the time difference it’s not our anniversary date here until tomorrow, but as we got married back in NZ I’ll take the NZ date as fact) which seems to me an auspicious date for our babies to be transferred into their uterine home. I agonise over what to wear for a while, I mean what does one wear when meeting their babies for the first time? I want to be comfy but I can’t have our babies thinking I’m a complete slob; I want them to stick around! I finally opt for my favourite underwear, some comfy ¾ trousers and a green singlet purchased on one of our fantastic New York holidays. I’m ready.

It seems so weird to me that the team at the lab know the sex of our potential children but we don’t. There’s a tiny part of me that wants to yell “tell me, just tell me!” but luckily most of me doesn’t want to know, that wants a surprise sometime in the future. Hubs and I had always said we want to find out the sex of our children before they’re born but this feels just a little too early to me. In fact, after four years of trying to get pregnant, I’m not even sure I want to find out further down the track. There really aren’t enough surprises in life as an adult so maybe it’s better to wait until the birth and allow myself that “SURPRISE!” feeling. Who knows how I’ll feel about it all in the future, let’s just get pregnant first eh!

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