Onto the next roller-coaster

I haven’t really written for a while. The truth is, I just don’t have the energy for it. And herein lies my guilty little secret. At this point in time I’m not particularly enjoying pregnancy. That’s not to say I’d rather not be pregnant, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ll go through pretty much anything if it means holding our healthy babies in my arms, but enduring something and enjoying something are two entirely different things.

We’re now ten weeks along and, although starting late and leading me to believe I might be one of the lucky ones, morning sickness has well and truly hit. I’m nauseous a large amount of the time and, while managing to keep some food down, liquid and various smells send me running for the bathroom (or the bucket, or anything else handy) to bring a lot of it back up.

The nausea came on gradually, a day here and there, and didn’t really hit fully until after the 8-week mark – quite late according to my obstetrician. Apparently it should start abating somewhere around now but considering I’ve just had my worst day on record (vomited all day and couldn’t keep a single thing down), I find that very hard to believe.

And magically it’s nearly four weeks later. We’re now 13 and a half weeks and I still haven’t had the energy to finish this post that I began nearly a month ago. Hopeless. The good news is, despite my morning (all day) sickness still plaguing me, I now have a little bit of energy back. I’m certainly not bouncing around the place but I no longer have to go to bed at 7pm. Woohoo!

Added to this we’ve had another appointment with our obstetrician and been able to see the twins via ultrasound again. They were moving around like crazy (beating each other up) and were on track with their growth measurements, which makes all this nausea and vomiting totally bearable. It can be so easy to get lost in feeling rubbish but to see our gorgeous Bumble and Bee again makes it all worthwhile.

So what have I been experiencing? Not much until the 8-week mark or even later. I’ve mentioned the nausea and vomiting – I’ve lost nearly 4 kilos and am struggling to put it back on. There’s the excessive tiredness, which also kind of snuck up on me. Until this point in time it didn’t feel that out of the ordinary, it’s only looking back on it now that I have more energy that I realize exactly how tired I was.

I’ve had near total food and drink aversions. This is one symptom that hit me hard and also hit quite early at around 5-6 weeks. It started off with being repulsed by water and vegetables, and quickly became a beast where the thought of any food or drink would make me want to puke. Absolutely nothing appealed at all and eating/drinking became a real challenge. I force-fed myself, and sipped at various beverages, knowing our babies needed nutrients, but meal times became (and still very much are) a case of eating the option that disgusts me the least rather than a meal I feel like or enjoy. Why is it that everyone talks about pregnancy cravings but no one ever mentions the aversions? From what I can tell having at least some aversions is pretty common. Total aversions not so much but there ARE some others out there like me!

My boobs have grown enormously! In the last few weeks I’ve gone from not filling an A-cup (being a double A when I can find them) to bulging out of my old A-cup bras. It’s insane! I have to say I’m quite enjoying them and I’m hoping like crazy they stick around after the babies are born, or after I finish breastfeeding should I be able to do so. Up until last week they were really sore, but again this was a nice sign that things were progressing as they should.

At this stage my belly hasn’t followed suit and at nearly 14 weeks I’m barely showing. If you know me well or really look hard enough you could probably take a guess as the shape of my belly is slightly different to usual, but in reality I look pretty much the same (if not smaller) as when I came back from our honeymoon – having over-indulged and 8 kilos heavier than my normal weight. I’m told that this should start to change soon though and I’ll be cursing my big belly in the months ahead….bring it on!

I’ve also had the good old pregnancy friend constipation. Not to the point of needing any intervention but I’m definitely visiting the toilet a lot less (this goes for urinating as well given my drink aversions) and those visits tend to last a lot longer than they normally would. Too much information? In the same way I was when trying-to-conceive I’m going to try to be as open as possible through pregnancy (please let this pregnancy last!) in the hopes that it will help at least one person feel like they’re not alone or that what they’re experiencing is normal. Apologies if I end up grossing you out.

I’ve had minor amounts of cramping (quite a lot initially but not much recently). Much like babies outside the womb, the twins (or more to the point my belly) seem to go through growth spurts, cramping frequently throughout one day as everything stretches, then nothing for weeks.

I’ve had bursts of insomnia. Again nothing too major, mostly frequent waking throughout the night, but I’ve had a few nights now where I haven’t been able to get back to sleep. I rarely seem to have trouble GETTING to sleep initially, it’s just the staying asleep I struggle with. Part of this may be due to the fact that I now have difficulty sleeping on my back or tummy (despite having no bump!), and end up on my side propped up by pillows. Being a tummy-sleeper by nature this has been a little hard to get used to and my hips have been aching quite a bit due to both this new sleeping position and the fact that they’re naturally loosening with pregnancy.

And that pretty much sums it up thus far. So although I’m not quite enjoying this pregnancy yet, I’m certainly coping with it a lot better than I was a few weeks ago when I started this post. If I could just kick this nausea or these aversions I think I would be revelling in being pregnant right now. Whatever the case I know that Bumble and Bee are going to be worth every minute of this rollercoaster.

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